December 2024

I don’t like exhibitionists

Saint Creature December 31, 2024 No Comments

I don’t like exhibitionists. People who focus their creativity on their genitals. In my opinion, there’s nothing super important about showing your penis or vagina to the whole world. There’s already too much of that. Why not approach it from a creative perspective? I like eroticism, but I don’t like too much frankness. I can see art in the demonstration of genitals only if there is another context, that is, when something else is depicted besides them. Some essence. An idea. But not just a piece of your meat. I don’t like the idea that people see something “related” in you, even though what you do is about something completely different…

But as it is. I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be such people, I just don’t understand the meaning of such creativity.

Personal

I know it will hurt, but I promise you that you..

Saint Creature December 30, 2024 No Comments

..Will always remember this feeling?

In the spring, I was riding my bike to the military registration and enlistment office, and I listened to this song. In general, I liked riding in the mornings and listening to Yonaka. Especially a few songs. One of them “By The Time You’re Reading This”. There are interesting words there:

“Take off your mask andShow me your heart, IWanna rip it to piecesI know it will hurt, butI promise you that youWill always remember this feeling”

And you know what? Usually, when something bad happens to us in life, we try to forget the music or things that remind us of it. About events, about time. Music, in general, is associated with a lot of things in our heads, and that’s why I’m afraid when I have a composition that I like, it becomes associated with something bad. But something interesting happened here. After several such “trips”, I was sent to military training, and then to the war. Due to health problems, I was there for a short time, I had a chance to get to the other world (and not because of the war), but all this time I was protected by one idea: one day I would go to that Yonaka concert, and feel freedom. I would feel what I had longed for all this time. This music, despite the background that was around, saved me. And I am very grateful to it. You have no idea how many times it sounded in my head:

“Now put your fingers in the air screaming, “Fuck ’em, I don’t care”
Gotta do what you do to get by, yeah”

I think that after this you will no longer be surprised why this blog is called that. Because it characterizes death and resurrection. It is about transformation – both internal and external. And the main question for me is still the same…

“If you take a dip with me
I will fill your fantasies
But will you still love me tomorrow
When I’m a creature?”

Personal Thoughts

Separate fears

Saint Creature December 29, 2024 No Comments

Today I encountered an interesting phenomenon, when in a dream you do not understand that you are dreaming, you perceive it as reality, and you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation that causes you conflicting feelings. It was about some institution (again, hello psychiatry), where I was. Subconsciously I felt that it would again be about fitness for military service or something like that. And I did not care what conclusion they would make, I just wanted to leave the place where they were keeping me, but they did not give me clarity when this would happen. Because by the sensations I had been there for a week or so, again, remembering the “laws” of psychiatry, I internally understood that they should keep me for at least three weeks, and that they would hardly let me go earlier.

In general, what is the treatment of military personnel in a hospital? Especially when you are in a place where, theoretically, a person can be demobilized from military service? This is an institution that you don’t like to be in, that has its own laws, and that, at the same time, doesn’t give you clarity or awareness of what will happen to you next and where you will be. So…it’s a kind of torture, just without obvious physical impact. More about the psychological one.

Two things cause discomfort in me – one is living in that reality when you dream such horrors, and you understand perfectly well why you dream them. The other is the fear of what problems you may encounter if you try to escape from these fears of yours. That is, we are also talking about fear, but not of what is, but of what could be. Therefore…at a certain time I will have to choose between what is scarier – the reality that is, or the one that could be.

Thoughts

New Way

Saint Creature December 27, 2024 No Comments

Interestingly, among other things, I am looking for new methods of distributing content. I once wrote a post in which I told “everyone” how to integrate a site with other services or sites, thereby increasing the popularity of the resource. But outside of that post, I did not attach importance to how to do all this and… why do I need it? Do I need it now? Yes, absolutely. I want to be read, heard, seen. There is a rough understanding of how it should work, and all that remains is to create content and watch it all develop more or less simultaneously.

I wanted to write a post-plan for the next year. Set some kind of achievable goal. I have not yet determined what it should be. The number of visits to the site per day/week/month? The number of (potential) subscribers? Given the uniqueness of the future content, I am not sure that there will be many people who want to read something here on a regular basis. But… our job is to provide an opportunity to read. Everything else is up to those who read. So… I think we’ll come up with something for the goal for 2025. At least for the online goal for the blog 🙂

Thoughts