Inner demons
She doesn’t understand that my creativity is my inner demons. The darker the thoughts of the demons, the darker the creativity. The brighter I become inside, the more I release this creativity outside. No more, no less…
She doesn’t understand that my creativity is my inner demons. The darker the thoughts of the demons, the darker the creativity. The brighter I become inside, the more I release this creativity outside. No more, no less…
I think that creativity should be, at least partially, without money at all. And you should understand that it will not help you do something in life, but… you have to do something for it. Sacrifice something.
Creativity not for money is like charity. You give something to the world without demanding anything in return. Is it worth anything? I don’t know…
In my life, I have helped many people without mutual benefit. I have done many things not for money. In the end, it is difficult to say whether it was somehow returned. More likely not. Did I want it to be returned somehow? It is difficult to say. Sometimes you just need support. Not money. Support. But you don’t find it. I like to go to extremes in such moments and go somewhere. So that someone will pretend that it doesn’t matter to them. In fact… in fact, I think it doesn’t matter to these people.
Sometimes more than at other times, I feel that the world has abandoned me. Sometimes it’s harder than other times. In general, with the war around you, you have the feeling that almost everyone has died. There are no sales, no friends, no communication. You are alone with this harsh world. Such are the prospects for happiness and a healthy life…
..I wear my diamonds on Skid Row.. Read More
“…And the hills are plunged into the blue sunset
And I can’t stand this sky
And in it – sharks and rays…”(с)P.A.
It’s strange to quote her here, but it’s okay here because this is the territory of free people…
I need someone who would just support me and say “everything will be fine”. For me to tell her “listen…I’m afraid…that something won’t work out. What will go wrong…that I won’t take this step…” – and she said “don’t worry. I’ll take care of you…”
I think I should sell everything I don’t need to save up as much money as possible for this venture. If everything goes well, I’ll be able to get this money back over time. But there will most likely be only one chance. But where we are now, there will be no chance at all. Because the doors of opportunity are closing and we only have this opportunity to save and get…a chance for a new life? That’s what I called the post when I wrote to the Reddit community. For some reason, my question wasn’t published, but that’s not really important. Because there was something about something else.
Ugh…power us…
If you imagine our life as a universe, and people as planets – over time, different bodies approach each other, and then, on the contrary, move away. And you, literally with your own hands, see how this happens around you. How people with whom you saw a common vision and things begin to perceive differently what you do. And you come to understand that your worlds, or the universe, are changing. Everyone changes at a different speed. Is this critical?
I used to be very sad because of the thoughts that something could change, you could stop communicating with someone, someone could disappear from your life. Now there is an understanding that in most cases there are those who are “here and now”. You either become related to them and move on, or… everyone has their own path and their own universe.
Perhaps this was the perception earlier that with moving, people and contacts that were there would be lost. Because you will become useless to anyone on the one hand, and on the other – everyone will become useless to you. You will have a new circle of friends, new faces around you. Your own reality. And this is more of a plus than a minus. Because the new reality will perceive you as new. From my feed on Facebook, I see how they don’t perceive me and I see that this me is not needed by those who needed that one. And there haven’t been any major changes yet. I haven’t had a few more piercings in my other ear, tattoos, and in general, most of me still lives “behind the screen”.
I just want to live and not think about how people will perceive your appearance or your creativity. So as not to even bother with all this… that’s why I want to move…
I decided to do a good deed – to pay a commission for one work on Deviant. I remembered how nice it is when you get a message that something has been purchased from you. Even if it’s something insignificant. It supports and inspires. Let this be a good start for this person. This artist 🙂
Let’s talk about my new series of photos, how it was taken and why 🙂
Inspired by one post and Lana))
I connected an old hard drive to my computer, I needed to find a license key for a plugin. I came across old archives – music I listened to back then, a few photos…why do we cling to the old?..
The further you go, the more you resemble that meme when “the boy Kolya is 30 years old, and he still hasn’t decided what he wants to be when he grows up.” Apparently the question isn’t even who he wants to be, but rather who he doesn’t want to be, looking at others who are “over 30”.
When you look at vacancies – you have a constant feeling that “this is not the job for you, this is not about you”. Because you understand what kind of work it will be for 10-12 hours a day. On the other hand…what have you achieved? You missed all the opportunity to invest in something to be higher and better than what they can offer you now. You don’t have a fat paw up your ass that will pull you somewhere, so…what were you expecting?..
At such moments, it seems that you will just stay where you are and continue to do the same thing as before. Because then you will at least have free time. Otherwise…
I would like to do the same direction that I do now – repairing equipment, but everywhere only packers, assemblers, and other warehouse workers are needed. Which is sad. But how is it. Pros? You can get 2000-2500 euros without thinking about some courses and learning languages. But how long will you last in such a job when you don’t see life in general? Someone for a long time. Me?..I wouldn’t want to abandon the blog, photography, and just work for money. Because why do you need such a thing?..but there are not many other options now. So let’s think…
Someone gets the opportunity to go somewhere and they’ll arrange it for them, and someone…someone has to find their own place..