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Me Personal Psychology Thoughts

OCD

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Yesterday I lost an earring. In addition to ASD and ADHD, I also see signs of OCD in myself (like not walking on the intersection of tiles and the like). And so… I had two earrings. One was mine, the other was my ex’s. I had one in my ear and one in hers. I asked her to return it, because… it’s personal first of all (allocation of one’s own person). Second… there should be two of them! That is, you understand, right?..TWO! And she gave it back to me. And I had two of them! And now one! And she was my favorite. And I thought “I need to pierce another hole in the right one so that…

Wearing 2 pairs! TWO! PAIRS! And now the second pair is gone.
I should suffer for this. A lot. I planned to throw the one that was left in the Desna River. So that someone, in a month, would write somewhere in Kyiv “found an earring…maybe someone lost it?..” – a joke, when what. But I really thought “why do I need one?..”
But I resigned myself. Because well..one is better than nothing. Because only by moving away from the “typical reaction” can we, at least partially, suppress what we are…come to terms with ourselves. Learn to live…

Small steps, little by little…

Personal Relationships Thoughts

Bastion of stability

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I thought that with my ASD/ADHD, a partner is…first of all, one of the pillars of stability. That is, I feel comfortable that there is a person nearby with whom I can talk, share something with him/her, help with something. It is not for nothing that I have always perceived the very idea of ​​relationships as a partnership – when each complements the life of the other and saturates it with their part of life. When you run to the store once again so that the other does not have to go for groceries, or you pick up something at auctions that might make him happy. And you know that this person will be pleased with this very thing.

My perception of being able to be with anyone is not that you don’t care what the person is like – but you don’t want to get tied down to something that will be the same “red flag”. Age, children, mortgage debt, etc. – you don’t care, because you are ready to close the person’s issues and help them in their life for the fact that they will give you the same sense of stability. Understanding what your home is, and what components it has.

That’s why you highlight among the qualities – that the person hears you. That all important issues are discussed. And not to hide something, because it creates discomfort in you. So it’s better to deal with any problem than to hide it from your partner.

Perhaps this is the simplest and most understandable relationship that can exist. Without the need for someone to constantly cook, clean, etc. But you also don’t want to carry it all on yourself. Because you’re tired of it all your life. You want to share life, not be its basis or main link.

The simpler what you need, the harder it is to find it.

People Personal Relationships

Relationship formula

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Is there a formula for relationships that any two people can follow to live happily ever after?
I think there is both. There are many factors that come into play that you can’t always control.

Trying to understand how everything works, in general, I came to the conclusion that nothing is a guarantee that you and someone, having previous similarities, will continue the path in the future. Because relationships are not only about similarities. It is about the ability to accept someone else’s otherness, without trying to replace it, substituting what you need.

A common (painful) experience that you went through separately does not mean that knowing “where it hurts” you will be able to go through it together, knowing the pain points. Because everyone has their own. And it may seem to you that you know “how it is?” But two negative experiences will never give a positive one. You should not cling to what was in the past. But you have every chance to cling to what you will create together in the future.

And, above all, don’t make a fool of yourself. The fact that you have already “seen how relationships are built and know where to cut” does not mean that you will not “cut” important parts of each other. Ask yourself – where are the relationships that you know how to build. Will the desire to repeat the previous experience be the first thing? You cannot know at what point everything went wrong. But, in a certain sense, by doing “everything wrong” as before – you have a chance not to stumble upon the same relationship rut that ended in a Dead End.

Calmly. Quietly…secretly, I would say…get to know each other. It is better to live a day in a year than to burn several years (of a relationship) in a day. Imagine that a person is a minefield. But unusual. Something that resembles an Advent calendar. Under each lid you will not find candy. But there will be parts of the heart, soul, universe of a person, through which you can gradually understand why you love this person.

It’s incredible to come to the conclusion that it’s “okay” for you to study a person drop by drop. Even more incredible when you find out that this is not just your first experience with these “apps.” And it’s fabulous when you’re HEARD!

Personal

Reflections

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I came to the conclusion that the things I do at one time or another are not accidental. They are the result of internal reflections. That is, somewhere inside, I made a decision, and it is visualized in the form of certain thoughts, on the basis of which I begin to understand what exactly I wanted to say to all that. First of all, to myself. And I felt myself.

I deleted two applications. Out of four. Because I don’t want to search. Because this is my perception, when…the choice is made?..there is some inner thought that it was made on both sides. It was not voiced, but. That this is the same option when you feel comfortable. From words, thoughts. Sometimes strange, sometimes surprising. Without double meanings, but with caution.

Time will tell how it will be. But for now I need to get 4 hours of sleep.. 🙂

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