Thoughts

The best way

It always seemed like there was a better option. In your profession, probably. That you “could be someone,” but there was always something missing for that. As one woman said the other day, “it’s good to plan everything for tomorrow, because tomorrow will always be tomorrow. And when today comes, you don’t want to do anything anymore.” But no, to each his own. Always and everywhere. You won’t settle for anything less, but you’re unlikely to jump over your head either, because you are you. With all your pluses and minuses. And you know what? That’s the whole thrill.

Sometimes it seems that life is a matrix after all, in which you have a certain level, below and above which you will not be, like any other person. There is simply a path that you have to follow. When you work at a store at the checkout – at the end of your work shift, everything has to be closed to zero. And so it is with life.

Moreover, I think that with people, somewhere, everything works the same way. Our relationships with other people, for example. At a certain stage we need to “change cars” and we change them, some relationships end – family or friendship, it doesn’t matter. And everything goes on. We try to perceive it as an experience, after which each subsequent experience will be different, but what if the experience is also a fiction? And it doesn’t teach us anything, no matter how much we think about it.

The engine is running rough

It’s hard to pull yourself together when you realize how shaky your financial situation is. Perhaps that’s why I can’t pull myself together right now and do what I have to do – blog and post photos (even old ones). But we have to live somehow?..

There are no things or people that would inspire me right now, and this is a certain problem. As well as the unwillingness to look for them, because there is an understanding that I simply don’t feel like doing it. But I see how I am losing my social capital because I don’t pay attention to blogs and the same Deviant, for example. People forget about you and you gradually become a ghost. Do you remember those who disappeared from your subscription feed? I think not.

I wanted to start that engine and make it work, but without me it won’t work. And I don’t have the internal time for another project. Isn’t that right? I only have time for money, because it also needs to be earned somehow.

It would be great to plan something 4-5 years ahead, but now you can’t even imagine how and where you’ll be in a year, or if you will be at all.

I asked myself today..

What exactly do I want? What is my goal?..

Yes, for objective reasons and because of the financial crisis that is currently sweeping the world (in Ukraine it is because of the war, in Europe because of refugees from Ukraine who are there because of the war, in America it is because of… well, you know). In addition to this crisis, there is also what is called “artificial intelligence”, when many people are fired, and others have to work much more than usual just to stay in their place and not be fired. So… what’s the plan, boy? There is no point in you moving anywhere precisely because of all these reasons. But what do you want, somewhere inside?

Of course, I would like some stability and an understanding of what kind of world you will wake up in tomorrow. And so far I don’t objectively see any possibilities to live in such a world. Yes, probably the only option here is to “pack your bags and go to New Zealand, which is far away, where English is needed and where you are not needed as “some kind of specialist”. Otherwise, you are still not insured. So?…

I think that I really, at least for now, have no options to even think about them. I just have to hold on and somehow try to survive this period. Therefore, I look at all the options that are offered and try not to lose the little that I still have. Because the crisis is stronger than it might seem. And it is only starting to drag on. I see this in the ability to buy something from people. This is a clear sign that everything is “very bad”.

I want to develop an English-language blog (this is the main one), create creativity, and… live. If I want to do this, then it is better to do it all in the place where I am now. It is time to change something and in general there will be more, well, no, no. I am tired of being upset because I can’t be what I can’t be.

I’m alive, I just got a fly in my eye…

I’m working on a local project, so I don’t have time for anything else. I looked – I haven’t been here for 5 days. It’s crazy how quickly time flies. However… what I’m doing is a small-large social project that should unite the entire city (and its events) with a population of about 12,000 people. This is a kind of pilot project of the idea of ​​what can be achieved if you try to unite different segments of the population. Will it be successful? Time will tell. But for now, I’m investing a lot in it.

In a sense, this is my promising job. The funny thing is that it’s a full-time job (with a schedule) for $150 a month. On the other hand… times are turbulent and no one knows what will happen with trade in the future. So this would be at least some kind of base for actual earnings. Maybe it makes sense, there are all sorts of possible additional payments and something more interesting in terms of money is already looming there.

Have I found my place? And no. But the other day I put on my earring (for which I pierced my ear), wrote Sa Crea on a fabric ribbon and attached it to the earring. That evening I was myself. That evening I spoke in front of people for the first time.

But I see my main and more important blog here. Where I am with you. I share, like, thoughts. I share them with my loved ones. I love you all. See you soon. I went to add posts to the main blog about a couple of anime 🙂

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Not on time

I watch people who have gone to Europe now, and… I understand that it’s not the right time for the idea of ​​moving somewhere there. Or moving at all. Simply because everyone now has either a problem with obtaining a visa, or a problem with work. So, is there so much desire to go into the unknown, using their only chance? For now, most likely, they want to get some stability here, and there are certain plans and ideas on how to do it.

In general, having your own house, even $ 250 a month does not seem like such bad money, especially if it would be a net stable income in addition to what you have. So… it remains to find yourself and this income on the side. This would allow you to close certain issues and move on. For now, my head is only filled with creativity, and that’s good. If for the second month in a row I consider myself a more creative person, then the year is going as planned. In the final case, you can leave at any time. We just need to know where and why, for now… let’s think about something here.

Plans are…

There is such an idea as “brainstorming”, when various, even the strangest ideas are expressed, and in them you try to find something ingenious that will help you develop. And it feels like now, considering the most diverse options, we are looking for our own path and our own method. Choosing even from those options that seemed (or still seem) unlikely. But what is probability, anyway? The question is only how much you are ready to go to the goal.

It should be admitted that we looked at the example of Czech courses and came to the conclusion that we will not be able to learn a language, which in places is the complete opposite of Ukrainian in terms of the meaning of words, not to mention the alphabet with the pronunciation of letters, which, together with certain exceptions and rules, make learning the language as difficult as learning German or French. However, I think the Czech Republic will not lose much if we do not get there because of this. Although this seemed to be the best sense and the best place to move. But now in our life there is such a dynamic that plans change every week because the information we learn about changes. So…

I think that we will still start to deepen our knowledge of English, and then this path will lead us somewhere. Either in terms of work, or in terms of the country where we will move. Is there anything holding us back now? In general, no. The choice is ours