Today I encountered an interesting phenomenon, when in a dream you do not understand that you are dreaming, you perceive it as reality, and you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation that causes you conflicting feelings. It was about some institution (again, hello psychiatry), where I was. Subconsciously I felt that it would again be about fitness for military service or something like that. And I did not care what conclusion they would make, I just wanted to leave the place where they were keeping me, but they did not give me clarity when this would happen. Because by the sensations I had been there for a week or so, again, remembering the “laws” of psychiatry, I internally understood that they should keep me for at least three weeks, and that they would hardly let me go earlier.
In general, what is the treatment of military personnel in a hospital? Especially when you are in a place where, theoretically, a person can be demobilized from military service? This is an institution that you don’t like to be in, that has its own laws, and that, at the same time, doesn’t give you clarity or awareness of what will happen to you next and where you will be. So…it’s a kind of torture, just without obvious physical impact. More about the psychological one.
Two things cause discomfort in me – one is living in that reality when you dream such horrors, and you understand perfectly well why you dream them. The other is the fear of what problems you may encounter if you try to escape from these fears of yours. That is, we are also talking about fear, but not of what is, but of what could be. Therefore…at a certain time I will have to choose between what is scarier – the reality that is, or the one that could be.
Saint Creature 